So, all season, one of the great mysteries is why Chelsea would sign Samuel Eto’o and loan Romelu Lukaku to Chelsea. Of all the dumb things done this season, this has easily been the dumbest. Lukaku would fit what Chelsea is doing perfectly. By that I mean that he’s a real striker that can play in the Premier League. Eto’o, well, he’s fast, y’know. But, he’s not a legit striker in the BPL. Not anymore.
Are we about to shed light on that mystery?
“Romelu likes to speak. He is a young boy and he likes to speak. But the only thing that he didn’t say is why he went to Everton on loan… that’s the only thing he never says,” Mourinho told a media conference ahead of Chelsea’s clash against Southampton on Sunday.
Source: The Sport Review
What’s this mean? It means that Lukaku left under salacious circumstances and Mourinho is so anxious to tell us all, but, Roman Abramovich would punch him in the face if he told the details. Or, maybe there’s not a reason at all and Mourinho is being Mourinho again.
BUT…why not sit here and
make up guess reasons as to why this happened. Because, it truly makes no fucking sense at all. So, I’m at least glad Mourinho can at least give us all hope that Lukaku is gone because he banged the girlfriend of one of his teammates. Oh who am I kidding, that likely wouldn’t be a big deal in the big time professional sports world. Now, some real fake possibilities:
- He told Mourinho that it was really stupid not to play Juan Mata.
- Upon purchase of Willian, Lukaku realized he no longer had the coolest hair on the club. He stormed into Mourinho’s office, demanded that Willian cut that dome. Mourinho, of course, could not go for that.
- The amount of pouting that Fernando Torres would do with even LESS playing time made Mourinho go crazy. (And, it goes without saying, no one would want to loan Torres)
- Every time a Belgian player does something good, Mourinho gets distracted thinking about the word “flemish”, and he definitely wasn’t moving Eden Hazard.
- Mourinho genuinely believed Eto’o will be a better striker than Lukaku this season. bwaaaaahahaha, ok, that’s too outlandish.
Other ideas on what the real story is?